Friend told me today she was pregnant and ten weeks along. 

Got me scared, maybe I should get back on the pill.

I hate to see people give up so easily, but it doesn’t make it better that I do the same. It sucks cause we have such little willpower; such little strength.

Bleh, dunno where I was going with that.

Looking at my body today and comparing it to all the other girls’ nice summer bodies and it makes me just a tad sad. 

But trying to be content, this is me. This is who I am. I should love myself instead of try to change myself. 

Lol … who am I kidding though. This feeling will probably only last an hour as per usual.

Listening to The Maine and oh the nostalgia… 

Man… I used to fall so deeply inlove. Like I was so passionate, I was sure that if it wasn’t this person it’d be the next. And then that screwed me over so many times. 

Happy to see I’ve finally found someone who genuinely feels like he could be the one. 

I love talking to these girls but I hope they don’t find me annoying…. I constantly find myself feeling like a burden or an annoyance to people and I end up hating myself so much. 

I’m trying harder to be stronger now though. To be a better friend. Starting to hit up some people and hope to reconnect and whatnot.

Feels weird to be here. Like… it just feels weird being me. 

I feel like ….. I DONT EVEN KNOW. Like the people I talk to are probably so annoyed and would rather me just leave them alone… But eh I just like having people to talk to I don’t even notice how boring I am or whatever. 

We had a big fight the other day and I just want to say that I’m so happy to have him here. He puts up with my shit and would do anything to keep our relationship so strong. We could do anything together and talk about whatever. It’s weird cause I have romantic moments with him but more best friend moments. Guess that’s why when we’re in public people mistaken us for cousins or siblings, we’re not even that affectionate in public. 

Ignore my last post about my boyfie. 

I was being a pmsy bitch. He’s actually so sweet and always takes care of me and keeps me happy. 

I’m so mean when I’m pms-y :(

He’s been on and off deciding whether or not I can get my nipple pierced. But yesterday he finally said, “You can get one, so then you get one and I get one. We’ll both get what we want.” LOOOL Oh boyfie you’re lame. 

Also decided to get my left one pierced. 

It’s so exciting WAHAAHAHAAHAHAH.

You won’t realize how much you need me til I’m gone and that might be too late. 

I just miss when you used to be so much more affectionate. You blow me off so easily now. Like you can’t even chill with me at my family’s house cause you’re busy with your stupid business. When you do come I can’t even enjoy myself cause you’re all stressed about what time we’re going home so you can make your stupid chops. 

I told you how worried it makes me and you know my anxiety is already bad. But still it’s like how I feel doesn’t matter. 

I wonder if I start to blow you off and being less affectionate if you’ll even notice. I want to do it but I’m scared that that’ll happen. 

I wish this were easier. We’re happy but I want more from you. I don’t want you to buy me things and take me out I want you to show me how much I matter to you. 

It makes me sad because you rarely text me when you’re out, you’re more busy instagraming and tweeting. When you’re out you won’t even text me unless I text you. I always call you on my breaks because I just want to hear your voice and forget I’m at work. When was the last time you even called me when you were out? 

When you sleep over other places sometimes I don’t even get a goodnight. It may be nothing but to me knowing you actually thought of me and texted me before you went to sleep matters. 

I just wish you were as affectionate as you used to be. Because I need that right now.